Breaking up is certainly not easy. Everything happening around you seems insane. You experience shock, denial and rage. You need to escape what is occurring but you just can't. What you would like is to be left alone. Isolated. You need time to think through your relationship. But thinking invariably leads to anger or the desire to bargain with your Ex for a shot to fix things. If neither anger nor bargaining works there is a good probability you may endure depression before engaging in the process of healing, self acceptance and nurture.
Let us briefly describe the breakup stages.
Stage One: Shock, Rage, and Denial
Shock is the body's natural defense against pain. When your romantic relationship ends you are likely for starters too worried, lonely, and burdened to do anything constructive. This state could last minutes, days, or weeks depending on circumstances. At the beginning it's tempting to discount reality and reject what has taken place. You believe if you don't accept your partner's decision then it didn't really happen. You might even start wanting reunion. This causes an overwhelming wish to call, email or possibly even Facebook-stalk -- do anything that appears remotely "normal" that enables continued contact.
When your emails, calls and posts go unanswered anger tends to set in. You go from sad to raging mad. Your wrath is powered by memories of whatever part he or she played in the breakup. Sometimes the anger gets turned in on yourself and you criticize yourself for whatever it is you assume caused the relationship to end.
Stage Two: The Blame Game, Isolation And Depression
Once you acknowledge the breakup has occurred you begin to deal with consequences. You may replay the relationship in your mind, trying to find out where it fell apart. Your thoughts may be scattered and disorganized. You sense a wish to retreat from the life you shared and even parts you didn't exactly share -- like updating your Facebook status or checking your voice-mails. You may isolate yourself at home as that feels less difficult than going out and admitting to the world that, yes, it's finished.
The blame game commences when you realize the significance of your loss. You may wind up in a state of profound sadness and even experience depression. Just getting out of bed feels difficult, You may even endure bodily aches resulting from intense feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and pessimism.
You discover how to deal with breakup anxiety. Breakup anxiety is caused by the radical change that's taken place in your life. Anxious feelings stem from worry and uncertainty concerning the future. Get a best friend or relative to help you cope with the anxiety. Breakup coping necessitates that you face facts. Admit that the relationship finished for a reason. Overcome the fear you cannot live without him or her by going out and mingling with others. Who knows? You might meet someone who is much more worthy of you.
Stage Three: Acceptance and Moving On
The acceptance stage helps make all the other really tough phases truly worth it. This is where you experience welcome relief. You accept your breakup. It's over. You have labored through the distress and suffering and are finally ready to do things for yourself that are exciting and relaxed. If you take steps to make yourself feel and look better this will go a long way toward counterbalancing the pain you have been going through. Never forget that sometimes a break up can be an opportunity to find a better you, and what now feels so miserable may prove a fortuitous chance for a new beginning.
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