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Have you ever tried to reason with with a 2 year old?

Were you surprised with their negotiation skills?

Well, my son is now almost 2 and half years old and has now learnt that he has a will - a seriously strong will at that. Typical of children at this stage, he is far more concerned with getting what he wants than with complying with his mother or father's wishes.

It seems to me that as children we tend to be assertive rather than accommodating in our communication with others. We are only concerned with meeting our own needs and desires rather than accommodating the needs and desires of others around us.

It is only as we mature that we learn the world does not in fact revolve around us and that we have to fit into society in a responsible and positive way. We learn that we can not only do as we wish but also have to consider the rights, feelings and desires of others.

This made me think about the 5 basic negotiation approaches and how you can deploy them to underpin the achievement of your sales negotiation goals.

1.Competitive negotiation

This is a mode of negotiation that is primarily assertive and focused on your own needs, wants and targets.

2.Accommodating negotiation

This is a style of negotiation that is predominantly concerned only with the needs, desires and goals of your counterparts whilst ignoring your own needs. Sales training seminars often support this negotiation strategy as the most suitable strategy.

3.Compromising negotiation

Probably the most famous of all negotiation strategies. This is a way of negotiation where you meet your counterpart in the middle. You get some of your needs, wants and goals met and you do the same for your counterpart.

4.Collaborative negotiation

This is a way of negotiation where you seek to meet all of the needs, desires and targets of your counterparts and they reciprocate.

5.Avoiding negotiation

This is a way of interaction where you do not regard negotiation as the best way to attain your goals.

The important factors which will determine which of the above approaches should be in your negotiations is to respond to the following three questions:

a.What is the Importance of an ongoing relationship to you?

If the relationship is critical, then you will not be able to be only competitive, you will have to at least compromise with your counterpart. If you do not satisfy the needs of your counterparts, then it is unlikely that a meaningful relationship will develop.

b.How many options are available to you?

If you have a host of alternatives at your disposal, you can afford to be more competitive. Conversely, if you have no alternatives, then you will be forced to be more accommodating.

c.How much time do you have available?

If you have a lot of time available, then you can afford to be more competitive. The less time you have, the more accommodating you will have to be.

As you can see, it is important to ask yourself these three questions before you start negotiating so that you can pick the strategy best suited to the situation at hand rather than just following a negotiation strategy based only on your preference.

It is also important to remember that you should be flexible in your approach. You may want to change your strategy as new information becomes available during your negotiations.

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