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There is one central idea, one key concept that is very important to comprehend.

Get this right and you will be rewarded with profitable, gratifying and long lasting business relationships in which price is not the only element. If you fail to get this right, you will struggle with sub optimal business relationships and you will most likely end up bartering about price in almost all of your negotiations.

The key element is comprehending the interests of the other side in your negotiations; this is an important element taught in negotiation training.

Generally we have a good understanding of our own objectives, needs and desires. When we negotiate with others, we typically begin with attempting to persuade them of our opinion. We think it makes sense to us, surely it must make sense to our counterparts. The problem with this stance is that it completely disregards the objectives, needs and desires of our counterparts.

What will it achieve trying to persuade another person to do anything that they don't believe would be in alignment with their objectives, viewpoints and wishes?

You will not under any circumstances convince someone to agree with you by disagreeing with them, quite the contrary will happen. Because you tell someone that they are incorrect and you are the one that is correct, you will compel them to defend their stance rather than agreeing with you. Nobody likes to be wrong and if you tell someone that they are wrong it will become very important for them to defend their stance because their personal integrity is on the line.

It is rare to achieve consensus with anyone after you have told them that they are incorrect, you have also managed to paint yourself into a corner. If it was important for you to reach agreement and you loose the argument, then you will have to compromise your own integrity by departing from your 'correct' stance to embrace the argument of the other side.

If you want to reach consensus the easy way rather than have your negotiations escalate into a positional argument, here's my suggestion:

Start by asking some questions, the best of which you can ask will be questions designed to expose the interests behind the positions that the other side have assumed in the negotiation. Open questions are the best kind of questions to show the interest or motivators that reinforce your counterpart's positions.

A good question to can ask and simultaneously endorsing your negotiation skills: Why are you negotiating with me / my organisation?

This is very probably the best question to ask at the beginning of a negotiation. Follow this question by asking your counterpart to expand on and to prioritise the reasons offered in response to your questions. Then you will have a prioritised list of their key interests.

Sample Interests:
- Individual: Security, Acknowledgment and Control
- Organisation: Profit, Risk Avoidance and Strategic Fit (Some key factors you would have learned in purchasing training)

Once you have an awareness of your counterparts' key interests it is a good idea to share your own interests. Once all the parties to the negotiation have disclosed their interests it will be much easier to recognise the areas of common ground and then it is useful to present your case in the context of how it would meet their interests. This way, you will not have to convince the other side that your stance is correct; you will only have to show that your suggested course of action would meet their interests.

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